Huh, what? Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. (From May 31, 2011)

I have to face the fact that I really don't care about some things as much as I used to. My primary focus has been on growing a healthy Butter Bean and having a healthy pregnancy. I pay very close attention to my diet making sure I get in enough fiber, protein, vegetables, fruit, and water. I make sure I have a banana and a granola bar nearby for when I start to feel lightheaded. (And, even though I've been eating mini-meals every two hours, the lightheadedness still happens).

I'll be working through my pregnancy and then go back after the 6- to 8-week piddly maternity leave the US decided was a good time frame. In the meantime, though, I just don't care about workplace drama. I don't care if someone needs more days off because of something happening in their lives. If what's going on attempts to infiltrate my pregnancy "stress-free zone," I just reflect things back and say my mantra ... "Healthy baby, healthy pregnancy." Honestly, I never cared for adults who had childish tantrums in which there's no accountability. Especially when the situation is reversed and then I'm the first to hear about it rather than the last. I just look at that person, put up my pregnancy baby bubble, and hope that the negativity and childishness bounces off my Butter Bean.

Ok, enough of the attempted stress. What about things I have to do? Things I have to pay attention to? Yeah, I'm not really thinking much about those things, either. If I have a meeting and I have heartburn, I just tune into my body and try to relax. What, you want to set up a separate meeting with managers from other parts of the organization to see what we can do to further the leadership of our head of operations? Go ahead. I'll tag along, but don't need the stress.

I don't mean for this to sound like I've checked out. Going back and reading it, though, that's exactly what it sounds like. Let me make one thing very clear. I love my job. I love who I work with and I love who I work for. I love those who work for me. I'm still doing what I do best, leading my team. All my extra effort, however, is no longer about my job or career. It's about the Butter Bean and my family. That's what's important. That's why I really wasn't paying attention.